Time Heals

Niiyawe'e ...

I miss you today.  Everyone tells me you are still with me, but I know that it will never be the same.  There are so many different things that I miss about you, but mostly you unconditional support, encouragement, and love.  I miss being able to pick up the phone and talk to you about the incessant thoughts that whirl throughout this vast space between my ears.  I miss your ole hypnosis ... your ole bell ... or ways you would put someone under.  Gawd you were so crazy ... I miss your laugh.

Mostly, I miss the spiritual direction.  I use to like the way you would smoke a cigarette, lean back (possibly listening to the spirits), then your "hmmmm", then you would have this brainstorm from I don't know where OR you would go down a therapeutic path OR you would say something that would make everyone laugh.  It was always hard to tell which way you would go when you worked with people.  Mostly, it was hard for me to tell which way you would handle me and a situation I was working on.  I do feel alone ... I hope someday this will subside.

Loving you always, your friend Estelle

Regenerate ...

I was thinking about him the other day.  he use to do alot of hypnoses.  He was pretty good at it, and what was funny was that he had the spirits with him always helping to make the change from an unconscious level.  So I was working on re-generating my body.  R-E-G-E-N-E-R-A-T-E !!  I did it how he use to do it, walking down the stairs, opening the door, turning down the dial, turning up the dial.  It made me laugh to think about it ... regenerate :)

My namesake

When I was twenty years old, I dreamt of a man in a white leather outfit with blue and red ribbon on his shirt and his pants.  He was standing on the other side of a fence.  I wasn't scared or anything, but it was a time in my life where I suppose I needed some help. 

One year later, I met him.  His name was Dave and he subsequently became my niiyawe'e or my namesake.  He gave me my Indian name and brought me back into the sacred circle most Indigenous people enjoy.  There were so many different things my niiyawe'e taught me, some of which I have decided that I will write about. 

My niiyawe'e taught me about cultrual attachment theory.  He gave to me in so many ways, the very teachings I hope to inspire through my dissertation process.  He has been gone now for a few months and I am not lost anymore, but very reflective of the things he had said to me.